Family was in town this weekend and we all had quite a bit of fun. Took 90 year old grandma (who has more go-go juice that most 40 year olds) and the cousins and kids on Banjo Billy's which was a riot. Learned more about the Republic on this ride than I have since I moved here.
Mostly though I heard my cousins say I was lighter. Lighter in mood and in laughter which they hadn't seen in some time. That made me smile. Things are working. It seems like months of surliness if not years. It's easy to let things slip away and let the cancerous thoughts eat your brain and preoccupy your mood and your being. Business is business, family stress is there...and should be when you raise two active boys, trying to be a great athlete is a challenge at my age....but it's ALL OK....if you know you are a good person and you are doing the best you can. It's not OK when the cancer is deep. People speak of universal attraction. I speak of balance. The path to attraction is what you emanate and to emanate goodness and attract the type of people you want around you, the soul's got to be balanced and the frequency you have to be putting out is tuned to the same channel known by Labrador retrievers and their permanently wagging tails and good nature.
Riding for me after CX season this year...e.g. the early season 'training' in January Feb, March...was for me more like an anvil of anger dropping. My moods were black and everyone could just go spit. If you were not going at my pace, go ride elsewhere. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. I learned my lesson and that combined with everything else just forced the collapse. Immunities, relationships...it starts to slip and the slope is hard to climb back up.
I listened. Am listening.
I sincerely want to make right....and am. Riding a bike is so much fun again it's maddening. I got goosebumps on my early morning MTB this AM. I wheelied for a block and a half. I was ripping like a kid on my GT Pro Performer. Having this balance and then heading into work carries through your voice, your commands, your doctrine. People hear this on many levels when it is clear and they turn and are motivated by you. More importantly it sends me into smiles when I get home and my kids don't ask me "Are you angry tonight, Daddy." That is wrong on so many levels it is unspeakable. They should expect what I expect and that is a clean mind coming in through the door from their daddy who wants to build legos, kiss his wife, tickle the boys and laugh.
Life is too short, and no one gets out alive at the end of this story anyways. Make it fun.
So, how was your day today, sunshine?