...yesterday morning in a fit of childish rage and went on a run to release the daemons. The work tension can stir me up to a point some days that i just want to beat the living sh_ _ out of a car or a tree or something with a baseball bat.
But it is what it is.
Like you, I long for greener grass on some of the dark days. I long to get away from software, biz dev speak ("At the end of the day..." or "The net/net is...". You know what the F I'm talking about if you live in my world) and just focus. Life at 7,000 miles an hour can make you see the blur as if you are looking out of the side window of a car instead of its windshield. I want to Focus like I used to as a boy on Legos an Tamiya's. Utter silence and hair raising joy from the perfection of getting it done and done right. By yourself. I think that is what a bike frame builder must feel when the torch is turned off and the protective glasses flipped up and the roller chair rolled backwards away from the jig to see the frame in it's assembled but raw unpainted beauty. I can see myself doing this. I can see letting my beard grow and just being me instead of software guy on so many of the days I spend burning time.
OK, back to work.
Out of state tuition is $55K a year.