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Days into things

It's now a few days into all this. My wife is by every definition a hero. She was able to be by her sister's side in under 10 hours. She has turned off her instinct which is to feel for the situation and emote on it...instead to be stoic and strong and be the hand that her sister is holding during this period...even while her sister may not even realize she's gripping a hand.

She's just there for her.

Dealing with estate planners. Dealing with funeral homes. Dealing with...honestly just dealing to keep her sister's family strong.

I am manning the fort. I am answering my sons' questions on Uncle Darren's passing. I am not comfortable in explaining how it all occurred as I am in the air 3 times a month at a minimum.

I got the kids to school today and I started working and then had a categorical f-it moment. I can't focus and I went to purge. Jumped on the 9'er and rolled Heil from home. I bomb up the road in the AM sun and see some things moving and they are just MONSTER turkeys. So I snap pics and day dream....

We go up to Madison to hang with Darren and family. We are tight cousins with children the same age...perfect. We've been to Italy together, Disney Land name it. D takes me on his greatest passion: a hunting trip for the day. He's a Utah boy and it's in his blood. We're going for Turkey and we've got 12g over/unders and some food and a whole day to chill. In fact, I get to use his dad's prized Browning Field Grade that day so I am honored.

We go out a hiking in these epic pastures of Wisconsin. Shots here and there but I get squat. It's beautiful and freezing cold. D's all gussied up in his hunting best...I'm in sweat pants, Wellingtons and invariably making WAY too much noise for a purist like Darren. We get ourselves to a point where there is a small brook crossing...about 3 feet wide and sincerely about 2 to 2.5 inches deep water. A "no brainer" as it were.

I take a casual step across this mellow trickling brook and HOLY SHI*T!!! I sink up top my pathetic yang in quicksand.


Darren is on the stream's bank about crapping himself laughing at me. So, I open the chambers and eject the shells and have to hurl his papas Browning at him (which he caught).

I'm an awesome hunter.

D did end up getting a fatty for us all which we Q'd up that evening. He should me how to clean and prep that beast for dinner.

It goes by quick folks. It ain't a dress rehearsal. Live this shit like you have no idea.

Which you don't.

The ride was purging. Beautiful. Now to continue the balance. It is easier with that ever so small adjustment to the mind's lens. I need no large wake up calls. I live life I feel as fully as I can. But to ensure it is as clean and pure as I can...that is another level of balance.

Can I? Are you?

Reader Comments (1)

Sorry to hear about the loss that you and your family are going through. I hope everything works out alright.

May 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEvan Sandstrom

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