Entries in Operacion Puerto (2)
That is exactly what I'm calling Piti's weak-ass sock selection. What sport is this? Tennis? Shit even tennis players are wearing real socks these days and not the ankle panties Valverde is sporting. I CAN'T STAND IT! And now I'm seeing all these euro-fools go low on the sock. It reminds me of that scene in Good Morning Vietnam when the bartender is telling Robin Williams how he loves the curve of the soldiers ankles in their combat boots. But I digress on that tip. Weak. I think hey should all just go back to wearing the pom-pom ankle socks my sister wore in '82.
So let's inspect some style. Who else to go to but our main anti-doping advocate and style maven, Geoff Kabush. OK, so he's Canadian, but I won't hold that against him (D'oh! Kidding Kabush!). But seriously, this is 2007 and there is style to be applied to your ride.
Let's study this pic for a bit shall we? Here we have Geoff killing it in some race recently. I think Park City. Anywhoo, Geoff has embraced 2007. Note the white saddle. I guaran-frickin-tee you he's got white grips under those hands. Any self respecting bike style junkie's got to match the saddle and the grips (mtb)/tape (road). C'mon! You're squirming in your chair right now wasting time reading this blog 'cause you agree. Shoes: White. C'mon! You know you want white shoes. You need white shoes you bitches.
And the piece de resistance? You know it: Brandon's Limited Edition, 6" Tall boy PINK Doper's Suck socks with stylish T-Mobile Magenta embroidery . Made just in time for Bjarne's confession AND the Giro! What timing! They're just high enough to be uncool, just low enough to be rad. Balance. Don't be weak. Say no to ankle panties.
Cheat, cheat...never beat. Or so says my boy B-dub's slogan on his now worldwide creed of DOPERS SUCK. Basso. What a p.o.s. I will discard my copy of Overcoming even though I love watching Jensy lay wood to the peleton.
Reading the news about Basso 'working' with the Puerto investigators to "relieve his conscience", I immediately went up stairs and brushed off the dust from my extremely limited Operation Puerto t-shirt (3 were made) and will wear it with pride. I put it away because it looked like this thing was a witch hunt. The design is hilarious and was done by my boy Ted at Anthem for (very) personal reasons, not for distribution.
Having Valverde in there as well was pretty prophetic too given the latest announcement. Here's another one of the shirts in action:
This boring waste of everyone's time has got to end. And yes, the pessimist in me says there'll be another wave of some new form of cheating but still my larger optimist side says the Slipstreams of the world will dominate. You didn't hear it from me but rumor has it that a very famous doper-come-clean rider who wears a distinctively yellow kit this season will be moving to the Argyle clad team for 08 to enable a Pro Tour slot and a ride to Le Grande Boucle.
But what do I know?
Dopers suck. Cheaters suck. My sons will know the difference.